The Search
I keep searching for something.
I don't know what it really is, or why I want it so badly,
but my body's been needing it for years.
Sometimes, I start frantically looking for it
like I cannot breathe without it.
Like it is the reason I live,
and will be what keeps me alive.
I search for it in people's eyes,
but I never seem to find it.
I search for it in the media I consume,
but it is never there.
I search for it in the projects I do,
in the energy I use up until the last drop,
in the art I create – as humans do –,
but it doesn't seem to exist.
I search for it in every building I walk into,
around every tree I sit under,
on the legs of every little bug I notice,
but it is no use.
For you can't find something if you don't know what it is.
You can't solve a problem that - seemingly - doesn't exist.
You can't give an answer to a question no one has asked.
A tragedy that cannot be named.
soundtrack:
Crack Baby by Mitski